Le dernier article datant de novembre 2008, je pense qu'il est vraiment temps d'en revenir à ce petit blog adoré! =)
Pour deux raisons :
1- je dois me désintoxiquer de Facebook! ^^
2- j'ai vraiment beaucoup de choses à dire. Ecrire m'a manqué. Et cette passion a rejailli en moi récemment, par hasard, alors même que je croyais ne jamais plus la ressentir. Grâce à qqun qui a su stimuler mon envie.
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Je me suis souvent demandée, étant petite, comment serait ma vie à 20 ans. Pour moi, cet âge charnière représentait l'archétype de la jeunesse, le moment ultime avant d'être vieux! ^^
Aujourd'hui je suis en plein dedans... Verdict? Mitigé!
Cet article présente les choses de la vie, telles que je les vois. C'est avant tout un recueil de sentiments sur les 20 dernières années...
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"Being a 20 years old girl in 2009... How astounding! How bad..." or "How I realized who I am" : my life in two chapters.
Chapter 1 : How Astounding!yep! I am 20! not yet a strong independant woman but not a young teen anymore! The perfect age, the perfect place, the perfect friends!
I am filled with love, friendship and happiness. It's like my life will never end. It's like my world won't never tumble. It's like I am immortal.
Why is my life so fantastic? That's a very difficult question. I found the answers recently.
* First, I do what I want! I had expectations and they are reached. I feel good in my college, I feel good every morning when I have to get up, take my ride and go to class. Totally true, no lies. My studies are absolutly fascinating, captivating, stimulating and... Perfect!
Totally me... It seems I knew me better than I thought, 4 years ago.
* 2 : I met extraordinary-marvellous-fantastic-crazy friends! They are part of my life. They'll never let me down. They'll always be there for me. They love me. I adore them.
They are all differents but they are similar. They understand me, back me, encourage me... They make me breath, they make me feel alive.
And FUCaM is a wonderful place to meet interesting people. You can't feel alone in that place. And sometimes, there are even surprises. Sometimes, you just meet a perfect one, who shares your points of view, your values, your faith. And you just can be happy. My daily routine is a summary of that perfect people : old or new in my life. People that make me smile.
I don't know how to thank them. (I think, perhaps, this is one of the business of this article...)
And I don't forget to mention my family. My whole crazy family that I love from the very deep of my heart...
* 3: I learned a lot. Not only about politics, philosophy or economy, But about me. Now, I know who I am. I know why I'm on Earth. I know what's my purpose. I know. And that's heady...!
* 4: I managed to balance my life perfectly : I discovered this perfect equilibrium between honesty, dedication, love, comprehension, tolerance, solidarity and ... selfishness.
I know how lucky I am. People around me are wonderful. Friends. Family. New acquaintances (and I hope, future friends).
Chapter 2 : How Bad...!Am I born at the wrong time?
I sometimes feel people don't understand me... Why is it so difficult for the others to understand that values are good things, that love is sacred?
Society is corrupted. The stakes are not the good ones. Love is uprooted, popularized and desecrated.
Sometimes, I wish I am in a Jane Austen's novel. I want to escape the harsh reality of life where sex, infidelity, temptation, hesitation, and unfaithfulness are quite common.
And the worst, I think, is that people seem not to realize that. They seem happy to evoluate in a world where feelings and emotions mean nothing. While that words mean EVERYTHING for me. They are my reason to live. They are my reason to dream. They are my reason to believe. They are my reason to wait.
I WANT to Wait for the perfect human being who will match perfectly with me, who will love me, who will respect me, who will accompany me, who will believe with / in me, who will look forward with me. I want to wait for my soulmate.
Is it so difficult to understand? For me it's just as logical as 2+2=4 ! Ok, I admit : I didn't know this before. And the reason is very easy : that's because I didn't know myself.
The message I want to deliver here is :
"Don't loose your soul. Be aware of the message of your heart. Fix you objectives. Don't be affraid of waiting. Don't loose faith in yourself and in Him. Don't try to go too fast.
Be Yourself. Be yourself and all the most positive things will happen to you. Be yourself and you'll be happy. Be yourself and you'll be loved
Love isn't the aim of the life? Love isn't the driving of our world? Wait, and you'll be able to recognize it when it will appear.... JUST WAIT".